1. Don't forget about your other half: 10.30am. I wake up. There's a tiny male version of me in a large Tupperware box by my bed. He has had crying episodes/where-the-hell-am-I moments most of the night and we have cuddled, snuggled and cuggled in between them. And farted. There's been a lot of that from … Continue reading 20 Things to know the day after you’ve pushed out a baby…
1. The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over.... 2. Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you're trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps. 3.. Your first poo. … Continue reading 20 Things to know when you’ve just pushed out a baby….
'Oww - not agaainnn...' I moaned. 'Breath through the contraction my love. It will pass soon.' The midwifes voice came from behind me and the wheelchair. I didn't have the energy to explain that it wasn't a contraction, but her whacking my knees against the doors for the 18th time that had hurt. But what … Continue reading The Birth: Part 2
I had been told my entire life by my beloved grandmother that having a baby was like having a rather large poo. Having suffered with constipation since I was born, not to brag, but I was pretty good with somewhat challenging toilet visits so this seemed like something I was going to be more than … Continue reading The Birth:Part 1